Here we go. This is the month, this is the year. In fact, this is the golden year. When people ask me how old I am I will finally have the number 30 leave my mouth for better or worse. 30 on 30. I never imagined that I would struggle so much with this particular birthday. Half of me is so excited at the momentous alignment of such a significant golden year. The other half of me has never been so anxious at my life looking nothing like I had expected for this year. Perhaps that's my mistake: expectations.
One of the things we inevitably learn at some point in our lives, whether early on or later on, is to never compare your journey with others. Like many life lessons, this is easier said than done. I'd love to think that I've hit the veteran status when it comes to level achieved in regards to this lesson but I still struggle. Don't get me wrong. If there is one thing I am incredibly proud of for myself is that more so than ever before, I feel like I've found such a better balance to my happiness even amongst the waves of highs and lows. My joy is more consistent and genuine, but that is not to say I hit particular moments of reflection where I wish for certain things to be different. And there it is again: expectations.
Those pesky little expectations are perhaps why I struggle with "enjoying the process" as "they" say. So for the big 30, I think my birthday wish would be to still set goals for myself but to revel in the road I--Amanda Suk--take to achieve those goals. Time is relative as long as I set a clear vision for what I believe my purposes are then I will indeed get to where I need to be. With greater faith in where I am going, I imagine I'll be able to dance a little more in the present. So though in today's "Let's Be Real" vlog I may sound a bit down on my circumstances, in fact, I am positive that I am headed into the best year of my life. I would have never imagined to be where I am today, both with the good and the "could be betters". Life is nothing short of surprising. Thank you to all of you who have been on this journey with me and have been supporting me along the spontaneous way. You are a part of why 30 will be an incredible year.